Biopsy update

I went back for my results today. The doctor is pretty confident that I do not have cancer. I’m so thankful to hear that! These past 2 weeks have been hell! I’ve been stressing and worrying myself to death. He does want to see me again in 6 months and possibly do this all over again. I was sent to get more blood work done because he’s thinking this ordeal is because of either Hashimoto’s or PCOS. The two usually go hand in hand but my endocrinologist should be able to clear this up. I meet with the endo on the 21st. Just thought I would give you all a happy update 🙂

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Biopsy day

  Today was the day. The day I’ve been terrified of for a few months now, biopsy day. I prepared myself as much as I could. I read any and everything I could find online. I went in pretty confident…that didn’t last long.
   The first thing the Dr did was an ultrasound of my thyroid.  He said the “complex cyst” had grown a bit, but usually thyroid nodules were benign.  He then used the ultrasound to check for blood flow in the mass/cyst/nodule/whatever. He said he was pretty concerned because there was a lot of blood flow activity. There went my heart rate. 
  Next he “numbed the area”<I put that in quotations because it did nothing but burn like hell.  He stuck in another needle to take the sample.  Let me tell you…..that was soooooo painful!  Everything I read online said it wouldn't hurt, its LIES!!! I felt every second , every push and pull, everything.  Thank god he only had to do it once. I heard it could take a few tries for get a good sample. Not with this girl! I would have passed out!!
  Technically this procedure is called a Fine Needle Aspiration, but referred to as a biopsy (i guess it still is a biopsy but not as invasive) most times because most people don't know what a FNA is.  I'll get my results in 2 LONG weeks.  I was pretty swollen, and I'm really sore. I'm hoping for the best but I'm also researching like crazy about the worse. 

What I’m really scared of

With my biopsy approaching I’m filled with so many different emotions. I thought I would be indifferent about it, I usually am when I’m scared of something. I try to hide it.
The other night I was in the bed with my 3 year old by my side (yes she still sleeps with me from time to time) and I started to cry. I was picturing me kissing her as I went in the doctor’s office, trying to be strong for her. The truth is I’m not afraid of cancer, I’m afraid of not being able to take care of my children.
I’m not much help right now. I’m so tired all the time, I’m depressed, my hair is falling out and I’m in constant pain, thanks to my thyroid. It’s hard to make it through the day let alone be one of those “have it all together” moms. Some days are great but most of the time I’m just wishing I could sleep.
I’m nervous about the biopsy because I really don’t know what to expect. And IF there is cancer…what’s going to happen? My husband isn’t here to help, we have 2 girls, and all of our pets that need my attention. I haven’t talked about it much with anyone because I’m scared. I haven’t admitted I’m scared, or that I’ve cried about it. It’s overwhelming and I’m kind of paralyzed until I get the results.

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.” -Buddha

New chapters

Hello everyone! I’ve been a slacker lately, but it’s for a good reason! My thyroid biopsy is Friday so I’ve been getting things in order around the house just in case I feel blah afterwards. But the biggest thing is I’ve enrolled in an interior decorating college course! I’m so excited to begin this new chapter in my life! It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time now but I thought it was something we couldn’t afford or I had the time for. Well I can do both. The course I’m taking includes the CID (certified interior decorator international) exam and dues for the first year. Maybe I’ll go on to do interior design, but decorating is something I’ve always had a passion for. I’ve really thrown myself into this and I’ve already completed a few lessons. I’ll still try to post as much as possible 🙂